How to Love

Many of you are wondering how my return to teaching went.  It went well.  I was glad to be back in the classroom ministering to and teaching the children.  It has been exhausting but good for me.  Getting busy serving again is a blessing.

The toughest times for Jason and Krista and me are in the evenings.  When everything gets quiet and the flurry of activities calms down for the day, that is when we grieve.  All three of us find ourselves awake in the early morning hours sometimes unable to sleep with grief so heavy on our hearts.  Just last night we ended up staying up until 1:30 a.m. just crying together and talking about Layne.   It is hard on us physically but good for us to spend that time together remembering and grieving together.

Yesterday morning I woke up thinking about Layne.  I got out the letters people had mailed to him just before he passed away, thanking him for the impact he had on their lives.  I read all of them again.  There were two things that every person mentioned that made an impact on them.

The first was Layne’s genuine love and concern for them.  Layne poured his heart into the people he ministered to.  Whether is was a youth group, ball team, church member, unsaved friend etc. he genuinely loved people and it showed.  Many people have said, “I always knew that if I needed him all I had to do was call and he would come.”  He invested his time in people.  He spent hours playing ball with the kids in our former youth group, doing home repairs for people, counseling them on the phone when they were struggling, going out and eating lunch with anyone who needed encouragement.  Every single letter sent to him mentioned time after time when he gave of himself to meet their need.  He had an impact on people because he genuinely loved them.

You can’t fake this kind of love.  It requires commitment and sacrifice.  It requires openness and availability.  So many people, when talking about Layne have said, “He was always the same.”  It didn’t matter if he was at church, in Wal-Mart, at a conference, working in the yard, with a teenager or Dr. Bob Jones, he was always the same; no pretense, no hypocrisy.  He wasn’t perfect and he knew it.  He was never afraid to apologize when he felt he had wronged someone.  His frankness and openness opened many doors of opportunity to him.  He joked with people all over town about his love for the Tarheels and the Steelers.  He would stand for 10 minutes and discuss the latest basketball or football game with someone in the mall who had on a team hat or t-shirt.  Then he would turn the conversation to talking about the Lord and inviting them to church.  It didn’t matter to him if you were the president of a bank or an employee at McDonald’s.  He simply loved people.  He understood Romans 12:3 & 9-11.

“For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith…Let love be without dissimulation (hypocrisy).  Abhor that which is evil, cleave to that which is good.  Be kindly affectionate one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord.”

He loved without hypocrisy and that made a difference to people.  The MacArthur study Bible put it this way, “Such love exhibits itself by meeting others at the point of their need.”  That is what Layne did.

The second thing everyone mentioned was his high regard and respect for the Word of God.  He anchored his life on the truths found in the Bible.  He counseled people based on God’s opinion not his own.  He studied and wrestled with every sermon because he understood the responsibility God had given him to ground his preaching on the Scriptures.  He always told me he didn’t feel worthy to be a pastor and he was humbled that God would use what he called his “fumbling efforts” to touch people’s hearts.  The same sincerity and honesty that characterized his daily life was also evident when he preached.  A former student from Wilson Christian who was in his Bible class and many of the young people in our former youth group said he showed them, by his example, that the Word of God was a precious thing.  He was fun loving and joked around all the time about other things but he always approached the Bible with reverence and respect.  He taught them that they could trust God’s Word.  That they could build their lives on the truths found there and have an unshakable foundation.  What a heritage!

He led our family the same way.  We have always had open conversations with Jason and Krista about what they are learning at church, in Bible class at school, at summer camp and in their own scripture reading.  From the time they were small, Layne taught them Biblical principals.  He taught them to weigh what they are told in light of the Scriptures.  He showed them, again by his example, that you have to do more than know the truth of the Bible, you have to live by it.  I am amazed, even now, at the insight they have about so many things.  Even throughout his illness he constantly reminded them that God has a plan, God knows what He is doing, God is always good, God is in control, God will take care of us, God’s will is best…  More than anything he wanted to be sure that this trial drove them to the Lord, not away from Him.  He praised the Lord for every opportunity his illness gave him to witness to someone lost, he freely shared how the Lord was using other Christian people to meet our needs, he was open with them about the times he got discouraged so that he could share with them how the Lord lifted him up.  He constantly assured them that, no matter what the outcome was, he was going to be okay because he had a home in heaven waiting for him.  He taught them that serving the Lord was the greatest privilege there is and the highest calling.  I am so thankful for the husband and father God gave us.  He was so strong in the Lord and his strength strengthened us and helped us grow in faith.  It is that faith that sustains us now that he is gone.

As I sat on the bed yesterday morning after reading all those letters I thought, “That is the goal we all should strive for; to love without hypocrisy and to so esteem the Lord and His Word that other people come to understand that serving Him is the greatest privilege of all.  That is true Christianity.  That is love in action. That is how we can impact the world for Christ.”