I am sorry it has been so long since I have written anything. The last few weeks have been busy and difficult (I recently lost my grandmother). I even debated whether or not I should continue the blog because I was not sure whether folks were still reading but the Lord has sent quite a few people lately who have mentioned they were looking for updates and encouraged me to continue. I am planning, by God’s grace, to try to write at least once a week on Friday night or Saturday.
Jason and Krista and I are doing well under the circumstances. They are busy with school and I am busy with work. We are thankful for our evenings together at home where we can encourage one another and comfort each other when we are going through a difficult time. I am so thankful for my children. They are a constant source of encouragement and motivation for me. Family becomes especially dear after you lose someone you love!
I also want to share the things the Lord is teaching me as I journey through this grief. Grief is such a powerful thing. Sometimes it so overwhelms me that I lose my focus and my perspective. The Lord is ever patient though. He always reaches down, comforts my aching heart, reveals my improper perspective and strengthens my fainting spirit with the truth of His Word.
When you are experiencing deep grief you are very vulnerable to Satan’s darts of discouragement and fear. He will plague you with guilt over the smallest things, over any missed opportunity. He desires trap you with a million second guesses over all the decisions you made before your loved one passed away. He tempts you to turn inward with your grief and his greatest desire is to cause you to doubt the Lord and His goodness to you. I know these things because I have been fighting this battle. It rages daily in my heart. This is why your prayers are so important. Not just for me and my family but for anyone you know who is going through a great trial. I heard someone say that the trial doesn’t make you more spiritual, it is learning to seek God in the trial and allowing Him to use it to change you and conform you into His image. That is so true but the battle is hard. The temptations are great and the discouragement is real. Your prayers are so needed!
But again, my Heavenly Father is so good and patient with me. I know He is touched with my grief. I know He is always near, always waiting. In my most difficult hours He is there. I cry out to Him and He pours comfort and hope into my soul. He quiets my sobs and over and over again He reveals Himself to me through His Word as, through my tears, I hungrily search for His promises to me. I am learning many things at His feet. Verses jump off the page and He whispers to my heart, “Are you listening, Sharon? This is Who I am. You can trust Me. I love you. I am near.” I can then rise up and face another day, another hour, not because I am strong but because He strengthens me.
Mr. Daniel’s favorite hymn was “Leaning on the Everlasting Arms“. It has become one of my favorites too. There is great truth in the words!
What a fellowship, what a joy divine, leaning on the everlasting arms!
What a blessedness what a peace is mine, leaning on the everlasting arms!
What have I to dread? What have I to fear, leaning on the everylasting arms.
I have blessed peace, with my Lord so near, leaning on the everlasting arms.
Leaning, leaning, safe and secure from all alarms.
Leaning, leaning, leaning in the everlasting arms.
“The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms:…” Deut. 33:27a
November 23, 2008 at 3:07 pm |
Dear Sharon,
I think about you and Jason and Krista daily. You are all in my prayers and thoughts. I wish I could put my thoughts on paper like you can. You have a true gift. Tim has been teaching about trials and how we handle them (from the book of Job). I’m not sure I could handle grief like yours….I’m not sure I could be that strong. When it snowed here Friday, Tim’s first thought was that Layne would have called him, excited about the snow. When he called Nana, she was emailing him the same thought. We love y’all. If you ever need to get away, y’all are welcome to come and visit.
Love and Prayers, Karen
November 23, 2008 at 10:10 pm |
Sharon,
I am sorry about the passing of your grandmother.
You, Jason and Krista are in my prayers and thoughts continually. You encourage me so much by your amazing faith and trust in the Lord.
I pray that you will have a blessed Thanksgiving even though you are still going through much grief. Know that you are loved by many people.
November 24, 2008 at 10:51 pm |
Sharon,
Thank you for continuing to post your heart on this blog! You continue to be an encouragement to my heart. As you are traveling this difficult road of grief, your willingness to share your thoughts, fears, triumphs, and the amazing nearness of our Heavenly Father is teaching me how to better reach out to those who are in similar circumstances. Our youth group ministers at the local Ronald McDonald House on the first Friday of every month and there have been many times I have felt inadequate to say the “right” thing to a family with a sick or dying child. Your transparency through this time has helped me realize that God’s Word is the best medicine for a hurting heart. It isn’t going to be about ‘my’ words……but about how I can reflect God’s character and His Word to that person.
When Satan attacks your mind with fear and guilt—–remember you have additional forces for the counterattack! Many fellow Christians are upholding you, Jason, and Krista in prayer and will continue! May God continue to comfort and strengthen you for each day ahead.
Praying for you,
Sandra
November 25, 2008 at 2:19 pm |
Sharon, I am so pleased you are going to continue the blog. You are not going through this journey alone. All your friends and family and those of us who have not met you are sharing this journey. I am praying for you and Jason and Krista. We are able to see how you continue to grow in the Lord by this journey. And, we need to know how you are doing. I went through a divorce many years ago, and I was not a Christian at the time. I cursed God for allowing my marriage to end. I did not know then that the Lord does not hear the prayers of the unsaved. I wish I had been saved then. If I could have turned to the Lord to help me through that time it would have been easier. When I go through rough times now, I just see the Lord opening His arms, and calling me to him where he comforts me and lets me know I am not alone. He is with me.
I’m sorry to ramble on, but you have helped me so much because you have had such a great loss and yet you still are doing the Lord’s work and reaching out and sharing with us all. Thank you Sharon.
November 28, 2008 at 11:55 am |
It’s not real to me yet that Layne is with the Lord, since I’m not there to miss him at your home and church. But I know that it’s more real to you than anything else, and so I ask Him to give you a thankful, peaceful heart even in your continuing pain. Much love to you.
November 29, 2008 at 8:43 am |
Yes Sharon I too encourage you to continue writing. We are still praying for you and the children. Other people going through the pain of losing a loved one can certainly relate. Take care. Love you guys.
December 1, 2008 at 7:48 am |
I’m so glad to hear that you have decided to continue blogging. I’ve already told you what an example you are to me. And having updates helps me know how to pray for you guys.
I’m so sorry you lost your grandmother, too. I’ll be praying even more as you deal with this additional loss.
We love you guys.