I woke up sick during the night so I was not able to go to church today. I missed the fellowship and the message from God’s Word but staying home gave me the opportunity to get some much needed rest and to spend some time remembering and grieving for Layne. Tonight I got out three snowflake picture frame ornaments and put pictures of Layne with me, Jason and Krista in them and hung them on the tree. It was an amazingly hard but comforting thing to do. We miss him so intensely. I have been thinking a lot today about last Christmas and how different things were just a year ago. Layne was in the middle of his battle with the brain tumor but our house was full of hope and thanksgiving simply because he was still with us, our family was still whole and we were able to celebrate together.
Things are so different this year. Trust me, the celebrations, the decorations, the shopping, the presents don’t do anything to fill the hole left in your heart when you lose someone you love. It is hard to find the joy of the season. But in my moments of intense loneliness and grief I have learned to pour my heart out to the Lord and allow Him to comfort me and help to fill the void in my life. He is always there for me. He shows me how to still have joy; not the light hearted, dizzily happy joy of Christmases past but a new kind of joy. This joy is deep and grounded because it is resting on the promises found in His Word. This joy is triumphant because it still exists in spite of the intense pain of grief. This is the joy found, not in the frenzy of the season, but in the One Who came to earth to die on the cross for our sins. This joy gives hope because the same Savior Who daily lifts me up and comforts me has promised that this life is but a moment and after this there is all eternity. Layne is not gone, he is in heaven waiting for me. We still have forever! What joy that will be, when our family is together again in heaven with our Lord.
Remember this Christmas morning, amid all the excitement and celebration, that the best Christmas gifts God has given you this year are not the ones wrapped up under the tree but the precious family sitting around it. Most of all remember that the greatest Gift ever given was the Gift that changed the whole world, the Gift of God’s Son; the Savior Who gave His life so that our sins could be forgiven and we can have a home in heaven with Him. This is the real joy of the season!
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16
Posted by Sharon 
